What’s Your Charisma Score?
You’re a successful financial advisor. No matter how many degrees and certifications you list after your name, you’re in the people business at the end of the day. Clients gravitate to you because they trust you, they like you and they think you have integrity. That’s why they share so many intimate details of their lives with you—financial and otherwise—that few others know about.
Some of you were class president or football quarterback growing up, while others of you were more comfortable in the bleachers or the chemistry lab. It doesn’t matter if you are an introvert or extrovert by nature, you learned to master your people skills. Chances are, you have a secret ingredient that’s propelled you to the top of a highly competitive profession—CHARISMA!
The word charisma comes from the Greek word (khárisma), which means “favor freely given” or “gift of grace.
When you think of people like Oprah, Madonna, Jay-Z, Bill Clinton, Warren Buffett and Muhammad Ali, you think of dynamic leaders with supreme confidence, exuberance, optimism, expressive body language, and an authentic, friendly smile.
Many believe you’re either born with charisma or you’re not. But Psychology Today among other researchers, argues that charisma is a learned behavior that’s polished and perfected over time.
Perfecting your charisma skills
Many of you have worked hard to perfect your personal story and to enhance your status as thought leaders through writing, speaking and press mentions. That’s great. Don’t stop doing those things. But you also want to perfect your charisma skills.
Olivia Fox Cabane, a charisma coach and the author of the book “The Charisma Myth,” told the New York Times recently that we can boil charismatic behavior down to three key elements: Presence, Power and Warmth.
- Presence. This involves being in the moment. If your attention starts to slip while speaking to someone, Cabane says you should refocus by centering yourself. “Pay attention to the sounds in the environment, your breath and the subtle sensations in your body — the tingles that start in your toes and radiate throughout your frame,” she told the Times.
- Power. This is about breaking down self-imposed barriers rather than achieving higher status. Cabane believes it’s about lifting the stigma that comes with the success you’ve already earned. “Impostor Syndrome, as it’s known, is the prevalent fear that you’re not worthy of the position you’re in. The higher up the ladder you climb, the more prevalent the feeling becomes,” Cabane added.
- Warmth is the third element and it’s harder to fake according to Cabane. “This requires you to radiate a certain kind of vibe that signals kindness and acceptance.” Cabane suggests imagining a person you feel great warmth and affection for, and then focusing on what you enjoy most about interacting with that person. You can do this before interactions, or in shorter spurts while listening to someone else speak. This, she says, “can change body chemistry in seconds, making even the most introverted among us exude the type of warmth linked to high-charisma people.”
One thing all the experts seem to agree on is that a charismatic person has a profound power on everyone they come in contact with. They can motivate followers and employees to work together in pursuit of mutual goals with a sense of meaning and purpose. But as Psychology Today warned, “If a leader lacks other important skills or sensibilities, compassion for example, the power to charm and captivate might steer us in the wrong direction.”
What’s your charisma score? Take the quiz.
Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5, (5= Strongly Agree and 1 = Strongly Disagree) for each of these six statements:
I am someone who…
- Has a presence in a room___________________________
- Has the ability to influence people_____________________
- Knows how to lead a group___________________________
- Makes people feel comfortable________________________
- Smiles at people often_________________________________
- Gets along well with everyone__________________________
Divide your total score by six to get a charisma value.
Based on research of Tskhay, Zou & Rule 2018
Send us your scores and we’ll tell you how you rate relative to your peers.
According to Clark, charismatic people are well liked not just because they can tell a good story, but because of how they make others feel. “Aside from being humorous and engaging, charismatic people are able to block out distractions, leaving those who interact with them feeling as if time had stopped and they were all that mattered. They make people feel better about themselves, which leads them to return for future interactions, or to extend existing ones, if only to savor such moments,” Clark noted.
What’s not to like about that? Not happy with your charisma score? Drop us a line and we’ll be happy to make some suggestions free of charge or obligation.
# charisma #leadership #extrovert #introvert #career success #Olivia Cabane
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